Ghosts, Checkbooks, and Connectors - Engaging Hard-to-Wrangle Board Members

If you caught part 1 of this series on nonprofit board member archetypes, you’ll remember that we framed these patterns not as complaints, but as a way to better understand and manage the sometimes bewildering mix of personalities that make up a nonprofit board. Naming these archetypes helps leaders shift from frustration to strategy, asking not just “Why is this person like this?” but instead “How can their natural tendencies be engaged more effectively?”

In Part 2, we’ll look at the first category: The Hard-to-Wrangle Types. These are the board members who are tough to pin down. They’re not disruptive in meetings because, truthfully, they’re barely there or they show up in highly selective ways. Their absence or unpredictability can stall progress, but they can still bring unique value if managed intentionally.

Let’s meet them.

The Ghost (Never Shows)

Typical Behavior: The missing-in-action board member. They rarely reply to emails, skip meetings without notice, and only resurface when someone tracks them down.

Hidden Value: They’re usually low-drama. Ghosts don’t stir conflict or derail plans, and sometimes they still believe in the mission even if they’re struggling to stay present. When nudged, they may quietly support.

Strategy to Engage: Begin with clarity and establish specific expectations regarding meeting attendance and communication. If they’re consistently absent, have a candid one-on-one conversation: Was joining the board still the right fit for them? Sometimes Ghosts need permission to bow out gracefully. Other times, they just need structure and accountability to re-engage.

A Ghost who steps back doesn’t mean failure. It can actually refresh the board when seats are filled with active, committed members.

The Checkbook (They Give but Don’t Show)

Typical Behavior: They’re mostly absent, but their generosity is consistent. You can count on a large annual check or a big gala sponsorship, but not their time, voice, or presence in strategy conversations.

Hidden Value: That giving matters. A Checkbook often plays a critical role in fundraising goals and can inspire other board members to give at higher levels. Their quiet generosity may stabilize the budget in ways others don’t fully recognize.

Strategy to Engage: Always begin with gratitude. Their financial contribution is significant, but remind them that board service includes more than writing checks. Pair appreciation with clear, minimum expectations for participation, even if modest: ask them to make thank-you calls, sign an appeal letter, or attend one annual event.

When you succeed at getting them to diversify their involvement, you ensure they’re an engaged participant in governance.

The Connector (Knows Everyone, but Not a Donor)

Typical Behavior: The Connector may not give much money, but they know everyone in town or in the field. They’re always saying, “I know someone you should meet.” The challenge? Their contributions can be difficult to measure, and sometimes they avoid making commitments by pointing to their extensive networks.

Hidden Value: Relationships. Connectors carry social capital that can open doors to donors, legislative allies, business partnerships, and reputational boosts. They often serve as trusted ambassadors for your mission outside the boardroom, where visibility matters most.

Strategy to Engage: Lean into introductions. Ask them to host small gatherings, make personal calls, or invite friends to events. Most importantly, track their contributions just like you would track dollars raised. Show them (and the rest of the board) that connections count. When quantified, their value becomes undeniable, and other members take notice.

It’s tempting to dismiss the Ghost, Checkbook, or Connector as “non-participants.”

But when engaged properly, each plays a unique role in sustaining a nonprofit: Ghosts remind us to clarify expectations, Checkbooks strengthen financial health, and Connectors amplify reach.

Rather than treating absenteeism or selective engagement as pure failure, use it as an opportunity to reset: set standards, redirect energy, and clarify the board’s culture of shared responsibility. A board with clear expectations and intentional roles can transform even the hardest-to-wrangle members into meaningful contributors.

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This was Part 2 of our four-part series on nonprofit board member archetypes. Up next: Part 3 — The Meeting Hijackers. We’ll explore the Talker, the Title, the Naysayer, and the Big Personality: those larger-than-life members who can dominate the boardroom if unchecked.

In the meantime, what about your own board? Have you run into a Ghost, a Checkbook, or a Connector? Which one feels most familiar?